Oh, noes! We're not done with 2020 yet!
If there is one certainty aside from Death and Taxes, is Commercials! As soon as you point the clicker to watch your favorite series, news broadcasts, or even YouTube clips, you're bombarded by ads. Commercials are a network's bread and butter when profiting from companies marketing their products and services, and while some are whimsical, clever and creative, there are many that are far from being worthy of a Cleo award!
Here's the most annoying commercials of 2020, one of the worst years on record. So how fitting are these mentions?
Aimovig: I am here
this commercial that advertises a prescription drug for severe migraines, is shot in some Soap Opera fashion as our ensemble cast of bad actors face trials and tribulations accompanied by lame narration; " For the mundane, the awe inspiring, for the heart racing, the heartbreaking.." where some douchebag who apparently cheated on his wife, is trying to work it out, while she ain't havin it! Then the narrative follows with "I am here"! As we see a large gathering led by some "Purse clenching Karen" this spot is very pretentious and headache inducing.
Quick, someone give me an aspirin!
Ritz Crackers: When there's love, there's Family
What's devilish about today's American media, is the shoehorned LGBTQ agenda, whether it's films,comics and television series. Now,everyone is entitled to love or feel attraction to anyone just as long as it's consensual and of course, the appropriate age. But when you use Black Men as the "spokesman " of homosexuality, when the percentage of gay black men is extremely low compared to white Homosexuals, consider yourself, suspect!
In this commercial for Ritz Crackers there's this black guy wearing lipstick when meeting his partner during some holiday gathering. This spot is very blatantly offensive because of it serving as another example of pandering under false pretenses i.e. "Buck breaking." You won't see an Asian or Latino being feminized as much as Black Men are being portrayed. Boycott Ritz Crackers! They're not good for your health anyway.
Nissan: Why Compromise?
What happens when a running joke falls flat on one's face, when the joke is the commercial itself?
The once "It Gurl" Brie Larson of Captain Marvel fame, shows up in this Nissan ad, that begins with some Caucasian boss once again following the tradition of a White Male superiority by turning down a promotion of a Hispanic or Middle Eastern Woman,..ok, she must be Hispanic, since Bree zooms in with her new Nissan, with a silly opening; "Drop the Taco, get in the car!"
The Woman who looks like she has no spine whatsoever, jumps in the car and possibly quitting her job, never says a fucking word as Larson in a White Savior trope gives her a lecture on "compromise."
Then there's the callback with Bree squinting her eye like she done in Avengers, Endgame. A preferable ending for this commercial would be the two of them driving off the cliff Thelma and Louise style.
Volvo: The Parents
And here's yet another uninspiring Car commercial! This time, its from SUV manufacturer Volvo. "The Parents" gives us a timeline of a married couple expecting not one, but two kids and the constant pressures of parenthood.
The most annoying aspect about this ad, is the lame ass Irish folk singing, it sounds like the corniest attempt at waxing poetic or rapping since House of Pain's "Jump Around!" See what I just did there?
Vicks: Honey Lemon
What a laugh out loud commercial for Vicks cold relief, where this creepy ass guy leans towards his sleeping wife from behind, saying "Honnneey" and this sistah responds "Honey", like "nigga you woke me up from a deep sleep when I'm not feelin well, you tryin to get some ass or what?"
Sure its a harmless play on words, spot, even with the sexy music playing as the backdrop. They could've hired a less creepier looking guy who's holding a cocktail that makes women drowsy?
"Holy Cosby, Batman!"
Opdivo A Chance to Live longer (?)
This ad for Lung Cancer immunotherapy treatment Opdivo,offers patients and those suffering from Lung Cancer, a chance to live longer but instead, it's more like a chance to die sooner thanks to all these numerous side effects when taking the drug. Talk about false advertising and what's even more insulting is reading the expression on that middle-aged White man's face, knowing that his "chances" are up within a matter of months, yet he puts his impending mortality on pause, when asking his wife to dance with him, when he should've asked for anal intercourse since he'll be checking out indefinitely. What..!
What's so horrible about Lung Cancer is that there is still no cure and many of us is more likely to die from this disease than natural causes...that's if you're a constant smoker. Fuck this sobering spot and fuck Opdivo!
So there you have it, shitty commercials from a very shitty year.
Well,at least we voted out a shitty president of the United States.
Okay, we at PN ain't that cynical, well at least most of our crack staff. Anyhoo, on a positive note, here is the Blue Ribbon winner of best ad for 2020!