Disclaimer: The following opinion expressed therein is those of the author and does not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher. Jus sayin. (:'
Welcome to the best and worst of 2019. 2019 was a shitty year. Some great people died, but the worst things is that 2019 will go down in history as the year that the age of Idiocracy started. Don’t know what I mean? Watch the movie Idiocracy. Let’s just say that humanity will never be the same again and it will never recover. You can thank the LBGTQP lobby, Disney, snowflakes and the selective virtual signallers and morality crusaders for that. I will be fine, because I have better things to do than sit through shit movies that last more than 1,5 hours. So without further ado, here we go
Movies
Worst:
Deadwood The Movie
What an utter piece of shit movie this was. This year I decided to watch Deadwood for the first time since the movie would be released to finish the storylines. What an obnoxious, smutty and disappointing TV show this was. It is obvious HBO was testing the waters to see what the audience could stomach. Thanks to HBO’s pioneering work we are now flooded with more smut than ever. Motherfuckers.
3 From Hell
Spoilers so if you haven’t seen it yet, skip this part. When I heard this was coming out I was excited. I hoped it would be in the style of The Devil’s Rejects. Was I disappointed? First, Captain Spaulding got written off so fast, that the movie was dead already, because he was the MVP of the movies by far. Second, one of the Unholy Two got killed off so easy it was an insult. Third, the other of the Unholy Two wasn’t even used because he didn’t fit in the storyline. The problem is that the Unholy Two is one of the most badass duos in movie history. You could have made various movies about them. I think Zombie was taking writing lessons from the Supernatural writing team. The only positive thing of this movie was that Sherri Moon Zombie played a better Harley Quinn than Margot Robbie ever will.
Hobbs & Shaw
Statham is cool and Rock used to be. Team them up in a movie and you should at least have some entertainment. Damn, did they fuck up this movie. The dreaded virus plot device reared its ugly head once again (STOP JERKING OFF TO THAT SHIT, HOLLYWOOD). What started out as a mildly amusing movie turned to utter shit. Somewhere crybaby Tyrese must be laughing his ass off.
Triple Frontier
So, you have Affleck and Hunnam in a movie and you manage to fuck it up. Stupid movie with a stupid storyline.
John Wick 3
You have Dacascos and Reeves in one movie and you fuck it up. That should have been a battle for the ages instead it just sucked. Dacascos had a stupid role in a stupid movie. What started out interesting with the knife fights and horse kicking ended in one of the most ridiculous stories ever. Halle Berry and her dogs were overused, the bossy LBGTQP woman was annoying, Ian McShane acted like a pussy, and why is an Arabian the head of all the assassins? WTF was that shit? This movie should have been watched with drugs. The problem is that I don’t use drugs, so this movie is not for me.
Stuber
Hollywood doesn’t know how to do comedy anymore and Stuber is a prime example. I wanted to like the movie, but it failed to entertain.
X-Men : Dark Phoenix
John Byrne is rolling in his grave and he isn’t even dead. I wanted to love Dark Phoenix. I wanted Fox to show Disney how you do a comic movie the right way. They managed to do that with some of the movies. With Dark Phoenix they failed big time. What should have been a swan song for Fox turned into a shit song. They didn’t manage to stick it to Disney. Also, Dark Phoenix was supposed to be the first movie with a female Marvel superhero in the main role and was scheduled to be released before Captain Marvel. Disney did everything in their power to make sure that Captain Marvel was the first female Marvel superhero movie. Disney had Dark Phoenix changed. Scenes were cut and re-shot and the ending was changed. Disney was afraid that Sophie Turner would be more popular than Brie Larson. So, there is an original Dark Phoenix cut locked up by Disney somewhere that we will never get to see. So, Disney didn’t only strong-arm Rotten Tomatoes in 2019 but also Fox. Fucking Disney as usual.
For all the people expecting big things with X-Men done by Disney: I will enjoy all your crying.
Captain Marvel
Fuck this movie that gave birth to the gamma males being the shining knights in Armor, as soon as you give constructive criticism about this piece of shit movie. No, I didn’t watch it, because such an obvious agenda movie doesn’t deserve my valuable time. Not to mention, that this movie killed all the credibility Rotten Tomatoes and YouTube ever had. Rotten Tomatoes sold their ass to Disney to have it well-fucked. YouTube started omitting negative Captain Marvel reviews in their search results. How pathetic can you be? Captain Marvel is the movie that officially started the age of Idiocracy because all the numbskulls came out of the woodworks.
Avengers "End-Scam"
I have spent more time than I should have on this piece of shit. Fuck Disney!!
You can read my review here:
Best
Polar
Enjoyable movie with Mads Mikkelsen. If I had blinked, I would have missed the movie.
Highwaymen
This movie looked like a good old Hollywood production. I enjoyed it immensely.
Fighting With My Family
Now, I didn’t expect anything from this movie. I thought it would be utter shit, but I had to watch it because it is a biographical movie about former female WWE wrestler Paige. It was much better than I expected and a nice little movie. There was no bullshit, just a great story telling the trials and tribulations of Paige. The actors playing Paige and her brother were amazing.
Dolemite Is My Name
Eddie Murphy is back, and I love it! Murphy gets ridiculed a lot and undeservedly so. Just because Hollywood doesn’t know what to do with him, doesn’t mean Murphy sucks. Dolemite showed us the Eddie Murphy we love. Next to that Dolemite also showed why we love Wesley Snipes. The whole movie was entertaining and flew by just like that. I loved the message of the movie and I also hope that Snipes and Murphy will team up again.
Triple Threat
The movie you thought you would never see. Team up most of the best martial artists around and find reasons to have them fight each other. Yeah, the storyline is quite thin, but then again martial arts movies are not about storylines. They are about amazing fights that make your jaw drow.
Iko Uwais, Tony Jaa, Scott Adkins, Tiger Chen, Yeeja Janin, Michael Bisping and Michael Jai White. If all those names in one movie don’t excite you, your man-card has been revoked so get the fuck out of here.
This movie is what The Expendables should have been, and it delivered on all fronts. I hope we get sequels, or we get other movies with the same crew involved, but then expanded with Zaror, Dacascos, Winnick, Koji, Taslim, Yen and Van Damme. An absolutely masterpiece of a martial arts movie.
Read my review here!
Avengement
What a fucking violent movie this was. And what a gritty one. Scott Adkins delivers the best performance of his career in this movie. This movie was atmospherically a whole new level for Adkins. His last 4 films were with director Jesse V Johnson (including Triple Threat) and it seems Jesse V Johnson is getting better and better. Here is to more team-ups in the future. Scott Adkins already has an iconic character in Boyka, and Cain Burgess in Avengement is his second iconic character. Avengement was my best movie of the year.
Read my review here!
2019 movies not watched but probably ending on the best of 2019 list
Ip Man 4
Donnie Yen vs Scott Adkins and a Bruce Lee character next to them. Need I say more?
Furie
Vietnamese girl power that is done the right way, unlike that Disney piece of shit movie Captain Marvel.
TV Shows
Worst:
Ray Donovan
Fuck this smutty shit. I am done with it. Ray Donovan never cuts loose, but they cut loose with smutty shit.
Supernatural Season 14
I don’t know what drugs the Supernatural writers are using, but they are destroying the Supernatural universe even worse than Dark Phoenix destroyed the Marvel universe. That is all there needs to be said. I have little hope season 15 will end great.
Deep mini-series
This is absolutely one of the most pretentious pieces of shit TV shows I ever saw. I love French TV shows, but this one was just getting on my nerves with pretentious CGI and other shit. I watched all 3 episodes and it is time I will never get back. PUTAIN!!!
Mr Inbetween Season 2
Mr Inbetween season 1 was one of the best TV shows last year. Season 2 started, and it looked like they were reaching even greater heights. Then it took a nosedive mid-season and they ruined everything. Needless to say, that I suspect Disney, after getting Fox, wanted them to tone down Mr Inbetween. They sure did and I am afraid, that if there is a third season Mr Inbetween will be Mr Neutered. Fucking Disney.
Best:
Baptiste mini-series
Tcheky Karyo is badass. One of the best actors around. The only actor who has 2 bad guy roles in my top 10 of movie bad guys. Baptiste is a whole other style of acting. Baptiste is not evil. He is the good guy here. He did a good job here and you wanted to root for him. The fact, however, is that this guy is the master of playing bad guys. Nobody does it better than Tcheky Karyo. This 8 episode season show flew by.
Undercover mini-series
This Netflix Belgian production, also featuring some Dutch actors, came out of nowhere. I don’t watch Dutch stuff because it sucks big time. The Belgians are much better with TV shows than the Dutch and Undercover definitely showed that. It is fictional retelling of how the Dutch and Belgian police managed to arrest a Dutch druglord, who seemed uncatchable. This was a suspenseful show that kept the story interesting the whole time. It did help I didn’t know anything about the druglord beforehand.
Mayans Season 2
Disney took over Fox. What a nightmare. Then they also sabotaged Kurt Sutter and also fired him, which resulted in a lesser season 2. They also wanted the writers to write more simple storylines. That is called disrespecting your audience. Granted, Mayans was still one of the better TV shows of 2019, but it never reached the height of season 1. Disney Mayans season 3 will suck.
Dix Pour Cent season 3
2 years in a row Netflix’s Dix Pour Cent is kicking ass. This show about a Parisian agency for French actors, actresses and other French celebrities managed to kick ass in season 3 as well. I had lots of fun seeing Jean Dujardin, Monica Bellucci, Gerard Lanvin, Isabelle Huppert and Beatrice Dalle play themselves. The subtle humorous show that no one seems to be watching because it is French and that is a shame. Can’t wait for season 4.
Warrior Season 1
There is a new martial arts actor on the block and his name is Andrew Koji. The guy kicks serious ass. Warrior is based on a script that Bruce Lee wrote so he could star in his own TV show, but as we all know David Carradine got the role that Bruce Lee was supposed to get. The showrunner of Warrior is Jonathan Tropper, who was the showrunner of the amazing TV show called Banshee. Joe Taslim also stars in this TV show, as well as Hoon Lee from Banshee fame. Here’s hoping that Anthony Starr makes an appearance in Warrior as well. Warrior was by far the best new TV show in 2019.
Cobra Kai season 2
The best TV show today bar none! If you are not following the adventures of Johnny Lawrence and Daniel Larusso you are missing out on the fantastic loveletter to the Karate Kid universe. There is so much love for the original material and it is visible in season 2 as well. Damn, did they kick my ass with this season. This was a totally different season from season 1. People not watching this probably think it was about karate all the time. Well, it is not. It is about the lives of the people involved in the Cobra Kai and Daniel Larusso dojo, with lots of great humour, interesting characters and great acting. William Zabka steals the show and Ralph Macchio is a close second. The cliffhanger was nasty and mean. It probably won’t be as good as the season 1 cliffhanger was, but damn, was it mean. I can’t wait to see what they have in story for season 3. Some characters from the Karate Kid universe didn’t show up yet, so I wonder who will show up. And since Elisabeth Shue was killed off in The Boys, does it mean she might make her appearance in Cobra Kai season 3? And will Thomas Ian Griffith appear? The suspense is killing me, YouTube. Hurry up with season 3, motherfuckers.
Pro Wrestling
Best:
AEW
AEW is the new wrestling federation show on TNT. It has so much WCW vibe, that it is insane. They have various interesting characters that make the show a must see. Since Lucha Underground got cancelled, I lost faith in pro-wrestling being entertaining. My faith has been completely restored with AEW. Thank you, Colt Cabana.
Worst:
WWE
WWE has become the Disney of pro wrestling. They serve shit and the audience eats it and says : “Thank you, mam. May I have another?” WWE takes insulting the audience to even lower levels than Disney does. I know, that is hard, but WWE does it. I don’t know if WWE will ever recover. Needless to say that their shows aren’t worth even fast forwarding through these days.
R.I.P.
We lost a lot of great artists this year. 2019 was not kind.
Rutger Hauer
Dutch legend. Part of the whole trinity of Dutch cinema people, along with Paul Verhoeven and Famke Janssen. We will never have an actor like Rutger Hauer again. I never cared much about his work in Holland, but what he did in the States was not enough. The Hitcher, Blind Fury and Salute Of The Jugger will always be my favorite Hauer movies.
Billy Drago
The awesome Billy Drago died this year. The guy had such a great bad guy face and played some fantastic bad guys. His most notable is probably the hitman in the white suit in The Untouchables. He was also a recurring character on Charmed and he was the only reason to check out Charmed. He even played a creepy motherfucker in Supernatural who was gonna save Dean Winchester from going to hell. He had a small role in Pale Rider too. Fact is, when you saw Billy Drago appear you knew he was trouble. He is one of the greatest bad guys in cinema for sure.
Sid Haig
Captain Spaulding is probably his most known role, but he is also a blaxploitation legend often playing baddies. The guy played a maniacal Captain Spaulding and it is a shame he didn’t get a real good swan song in 3 From Hell. Granted, he might have been sick then already, but still he deserved more. Without Captain Spaulding the Firefly trilogy would have sucked big time. He is the guy who kept it all together.
King Kong Bundy
Wrestling super bad guy. One of the great wrestling legends making life for Hulk Hogan miserable in the 80s.
Mean Gene
Wrestling without Mean Gene as the announcer is unthinkable. He was such a big part of why I loved pro wrestling. You always feared for the man’s life being around those larger than life characters.
Keith Prodigy
Prodigy legend. I wish I could have met the guy to see his take on music production. The guy had a lot of tricks up his sleeved and seemed like a legit producer unlike the DJs of today who are glorified button pushers that wouldn’t know production if it smacked them up their face.
Eddie Money
There used to be this wonderful TV show called Hardball starting John Ashton from Midnight Run/Beverly Hills cop and Richard Tyson. Eddie Money sang the intro song. It was a catchy song that fit the TV show well. That is the only thing I know him of.
Andrew Vajna
This man was an executive producer for a lot of cool movies. Granted, having money to be a producer is not a skill. But knowing what to produce is. Just look at this small list: First Blood, First Blood: part 2, Angel Heart, Rambo II, Red Heat and Die Hard 3.
Jan Michael Vincent
Mr Airwolf. Stringfellow Hawke. Too bad he dranks his career away, but anyone who saw Airwolf knew the guy was great.
Katherine Helmond
Yes, I watched Who’s The Boss, so sue me. Mona was the MVP in there. Mona was played by Katherine Helmond.
Carmen Argenziano
I will always remember him as Chick Sterling in Booker. Booker was such a fun show and it was mainly because of the interaction between Chick Sterling and Booker.